I’m just gonna leave this here
while I feels in a corner.
we all need to hear it sometimes,
and I especially did this time!
thanks jason ^___^
i’ve been through ENOUGH.
i personalllllllllllllly think i care too much. it hurts sometimes, in some situations, but it’s just who i am and probably will never change
hate & love you sometimes
<3 loveyousomuchmama :)
1. No Strings Attached (our first date)
2. Just Go With It
3. I Am Number Four (that’s when we decided to get a beagle :)
4. Hall Pass
6. Your Highness
7. African Cats
9. Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides
10. Kung Fu Panda 2 (saw it twice because I fell asleep the first time & felipe fell asleep the second HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA)
11. X-Men: First Class (we sat close to the front ..while he had a concussion :x)
12. Super 8
13. Green Lantern
14. Mr. Popper’s Penguins (with jackie :)
15. Cars 2 (fell asleep again LOL)
16. Transformers: Dark of the Moon (our FIRST midnight premiere:)
17. Larry Crowne (because 24 Fitness was too packed, but it ended up being a great movie!)
18. Horrible Bosses
19. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part II (second midnight premiere!
20. Captain America: The First Avenger
21. Friends with Benefits
22. Crazy, Stupid, Love
23. The Change-Up
24. The Help (exceeded our expectations)
27. Real Steel
28. Puss in Boots
30. Breaking Down Part 1
31. Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows
32. We Bought a Zoo
33. Beauty and the Beast
34. The Vow
35. This Means War
36. The Lorax
37. A Thousand Words
38. John Carter
39. 21 Jump Street (the second movie we’ve seen twice :D)
40. The Hunger Games
41. Wrath of the Titans (our third midnight premiere)
42. Titanic (IIIII bawled hahahhaha)
43. Think Like a Man
44. The Five-Year Engagement (could have been funnier)
45. THE AVENGERS (OUR FOURTH MIDNIGHT PREMIERE AND IT WAS FANTASTIC)
46. The Dictator
47. What to Expect When You’re Expecting (super cute!)
48. Snow White & the Huntsman
49. Men in Black 3
50. Snow White and the Huntsman
52. The Amazing Spider-Man
53. The Dark Knight Rises
54. The Bourne Legacy
55. End of Watch
57. Here Comes the Boom
58. Cloud Atlas
60. Lincoln (muuuuust see)
61. Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part II
62. Silver Linings Playbook (saw it TWICE - really good)
63. Les Misérables (left me in tears - FANTASTIC)
(current day :)
I’m fucking caring in that case LOL
if you’re going to lie or cheat in a relationship, just leave.
because that’s really selfish and fucked up of you for putting your partner through that.
it’s scary putting so much of yourself into a relationship
with solely trust to carry you on..
behind every “player” is a person who broke their heart.
I’ve been going back and forth between what I should and should not do..and I hate that making decisions is getting so much harder for me. and especially at times like these, I really wish my brother were still here, so that he’d tell me if what I was doing was stupid or if he supported me in my choices. I was pretty young when he left and as a twelve-year-old then, I didn’t really have anything big I had to worry about. but as every year goes by..it gets so much harder not having him here with me, with us. and I know he’s always in our hearts and that will never ever change, but I just wish that he can be here physically..it’s not fair really..but if there’s anything life has taught me, it’s that it’s not fair. these past six years I’ve been trying to stay strong for my mom and for my brother. on the outside, it seemed evident to everyone else that I was able to move past all that has happened because I smiled SO much, but that was the easy part. I’m eighteen now, but I feel like the pain that was caused six years ago emanates in me so much stronger now.. I’m not sure if it’s the fact that I really do need someone here with me to help take care of mom or that I was too young to really hurt this hard, and this much.
if you guys know any support groups for those who’ve lost a sibling, please let me know :) it hasn’t really worked in the past because I wasn’t open enough to talk about it, but I think I’m ready and I’m really sure I need it
I’m kindof tired of crying myself to sleep. I suppose the only plausible explanation as to why I don’t in the daytime..is the fact that I drain it all out, I block it all - every bad thing that’s ever happened, every bad thought, feeling, and image I choose to not think about. and then bam! it all hits like a massive wind, leaving me to my pitiful attempts to stop myself and not let anyone else hear. too much has happened..and sometimes I feel like it’s a never-ending cycle, stability in my life has always been rare and at every point of my “growing up,” another something would happen and there I was again asking myself “why?”
I guess to be quite frank..nearly everyone who I’ve ever known knows my smile and my inability to refrain from laughing most of the time. I’m not trying to say I’m two-faced, but it was always much easier to mask the other side. there were always things I’d fear when opening up A LOT to someone: would they understand? and more importantly - it wouldn’t be fair to unload that much information on them. a burden was something I didn’t want to be, so of course, it’s always a lot less painful to just put on a happy face and move along, because everyone has their own worries to deal with.
I don’t really know where this is going.. and I don’t know if I make any sense, but I just felt I needed this for myself. being bottled up isn’t exactly healthy, but I’m afraid to cry in front of others, especially those closest to me. odd? yes. there are parts of me I will never understand.
remember those random hi’s in sophomore, junior, and senior year? (because you were too cool to talk to me during our freshie days ;) they’d made me lowkey giddy. HAHAHA, but I was sure you wouldn’t like me back so I laid back, but sure enough & in time, you grew more and more on me - though I told myself after junior year that I wanted to stay single through the rest of high school to avoid the possibility of getting hurt..again. I guess you can say I guarded myself, yet somehow you charmed your way into my heart. remember that night we talked about eloping to Canada so we can get away? remember how it led to our long conversations and our first date? those butterflies were fantastic. the view was spectacular. the movie remains as one of our topfavorites (among the 100 we’ve probably watched ahahha). remember when I first met your mom before our walk? that was realllyyyy cute! remember when you asked me to be your girlfriend? I had NO idea and the slipping of the ring on my finger was very well planned (have to give you that one :) remember the mixtapes and cookies I baked on our anniversaries? (they were Pillsbury premade dough :D :P) remember how you asked me to prom during dances? you had Meg pretend to be sick and got Jazz to ask me to take a look at something, and being as naive as me..I bought it! and there you stood, with a large poster held by Bri & Char and a dozen of beautiful red roses :) I couldn’t thank you and the girls enough for helping with the promqueencampaign, and I’ll always remember that look you gave me when I somehow..won. remember the very many walks, the sneaking out, the sleepovers at our houses, the venturing to find a favorite restaurant, the phone calls? remember when we first said “I love you”? it came soon, fast, and sudden, but it felt so natural, effortless actually. love to me, was something I didn’t declare if I didn’t really mean it. remember taking Anthony to the zoo? how you carried him when he was too tired? (he zoo-ed himself all the way to sleep in the car :P) remember the most adventurous summer? our Disneyland trip with Jackie?! (he had TOOOO much fun, hahahhaa) remember when you ran over 5 miles to my house with a duffel bag while texting me when your clutch broke? (sweaty Jets shirt!)
high school was great, but the ride after that was just as, if not more, amazing. spending every day with you has been a blessing. thanks for sharing your life with me, your family - mama&pops, your sisters, Anthony, and grandma (and the cousins&uncles&aunts I’ve met) they’ve been really really sweet :) thanks for being my better other half - for always caring, TAKING care, comforting, being there for both me & my mama & jackie), for lending me a shoulder to cry on when I’d have breakdowns about missing my brother, for helping me with anything&everything, for the many things you do for me buticantnamethemall. despite what you think, I need you just as much, if not more, as you need me. I know the past haunts the both of us in ugly ways, but we’re moving on. it doesn’t matter because there will always be someone or something that WILL interfere in a relationship (and that’s true for nearly every couple). it’s you & me, as you say “against the world” with our families & our many pets. hahaha
it’s a bit ironic how..in the beginning, we’d always say how it felt as if we’ve been together for a long (but good) time, but now as more months go by..we say it feels like it’s only been a little while, and it’s gotten to the point where we need a 30 hour day because the regular isn’t enough hahahha. you’re so cute, and beautiful, especially (inside&out) thanks for putting up with my psycho-ness sometimes HAHA girls will be girls.
and finally, remember that I love you. always! I fall for you even more every day (CHEESY/CORNY, yes, but also very true) thanks for keeping a smile on my face & my heart.
with all my love,
Meri: That just shows how low class they are. Don’t worry sweetie, they will always probably be at the bottom of the food chain ♥
she knows what’s upppp.
1) I miss you more!
2) seriously, right?
3) ahahahhahah aww sounds like a plan!
4) <3333 thank you so much Shika! I love you very much ^_^
ahahhahaha I LOVE YOU JENN! they don’t matter, non-existant actually :) she threatened to kick my ass. ^_____^ & thank youuuu, you’re a sweetheart!
awwww thanks a bunch Sarah! I miss you tooooo<333
ahaha yessssss pinky promise through tumblr ^_^
I love you too Alexis! thank you so much :) Things will always happen..or try to come in between, but it’s inevitable..it’s just what we make out of it that matters
^___^ Sophia, you’re awesome! I completely agree, you’ve always had your ways with words ahahha I love you!
<33333333 I love you too! and I really should have done it, I regret it now ):
awwwww thanks Jenn! you’re a sweetheart, I love you too^__^
awwwww I was going up to Corbett’s on the morning of the last day, but I got pulled away to give out stoles and the bell rang ): I was hoping I’d run into you sometime during the day! ><
and thank youuuuuuuuu so much! you have a great summer as well^_^ will you be doing the summer internshippp?!
p.s. I’ll try! I was on it for a while then stopped ahahhah ):
“remember when your brother was about to leave for his three-week long trip for Alaska? after he walked out the door, he came back in a minute later and asked me ‘mom, are you okay?’ and told you ‘take care of mom, I know you can do it’”
we haven’t forgotten, never will. miss you so.. those three weeks felt too long. forever IS too long.
because memories can strike without a moment’s notice. and though sometimes being unnecessary, words can mean so much. his did.
him: “well article 1 section 2 clearly states that rebecca has the cutest laugh in the world”
HAHHAHAHHAHAHAH <3 arguing each other about who’s cuter. -_-
(from my facebook)
today marks five years..it’s frightening how time moves too fast. things have definitely changed, but our love for you hasn’t nor will it ever. not having you physically here is a challenge and we can only take it day-by-day. thank you for all the wonderful memories, all the laughs, every smile you put upon our faces. you were truly one of a kind - you knew the right thing to say at the right moment; you had jokes for any situation; and for those times you’d get mad, you marched into your room, and then march right back out five minutes later and act like nothing happened. we miss you so much that words can’t even express, but thank you for always looking out for us like you always have, thank you for being an amazing son to mommy, a jokester/caring brother to me, a determined/diligent/and encouraging teammate to your fellow knights&striders, an awesome friend to your many many friends, and a loving person to all. we love you, steven ly. always&forever FORSUUUURE ♥
I laugh a lot at my computer screen when I read/see something funny
and then my mom just looks at me and tells me “oh shadddup!”
I tell her the same thing
and then we both laugh. LOLLLLLL